Does my bag look big in this? What about the rest of me?

I thought I would chat about body image. We all worry, me too.

It has come to my attention that we all spend too much time worrying about the way we are perceived by others, and that includes how we look. Now, I am a born worrier about everything so I speak from experience in the subject.

When I was younger right up until I hit 40, I would say I was pretty skinny. So did everyone else. But, although a lot of people said they wished they looked like me, there were some who were downright rude.

One friend said she wished she was thinner, ” Not quite as thin as you though Clare” hmmm nice. How would they like me to say ” I wish I was fatter, not quite as fat as you though” that would go down very well.

I went to see a comedian in Blackpool years ago, and we were a loud table so he picked on us, actually he picked on me. He invited me onto the stage, big mistake.

” lets move the mike stand so they can all see you”

“I am going to tell a joke, you’ll laugh your tits off, oh you’ve already heard it” Yes I know, its funny, but can you imagine a teenager with hangups on that stage? I was distraught.

Ulcerative colitis then appeared, and my body image changed again. Skinny legs and fat belly, lovely. Bloating with inflammatory bowel disease is not nice, I had a few people ask if I was pregnant on many  occasions. This pot belly look lasted until surgery really when I was 49, but I also got more meat on me elsewhere. I liked the fact that my boobs grew, but not my arse or hips.

I have also been “blessed” with pale skin and freckles and moles. I would love to be a nice tan colour but it takes 2 weeks in Corfu laid out all day to go a great shade of pink. Fake tan is better nowadays but I do worry that I have damaged my skin over the years. I have jealousy when I see the perfect bod.

I have crooked teeth, ( I bet you are dying to meet me, I sound gorgeous), I haven’t smiled on a photo with my mouth open and teeth showing for years,except when drunk and I don’t care, so now I am doing something about it. My top brace is going on in a few weeks.

I was about 10 stone 10 pounds before surgery, which is reasonable as I am 5ft 7.5 inches, when I became poorly I went down to under 8 stone and ended up with saggy skin and old persons hands. We can’t win, there will always be something . I started to put weight back on after surgery and got to about 9 stone, I liked 9 stone, I felt ok, my skin fitted again and because my large bowel was removed my belly was quite flat, I thought ( wrongly I might add) that because the bowel was gone, my pot belly would be forever gone. But alas , something else has moved in. I can’t stop eating and am now 11 Stone !!!!???? and my belly is returning. Whats that about???

I turned 50 last year, and about 2 days after, received a flyer for Saga over 50’s. I felt older than old. How could I be fifty? I was in the OAP bracket for SAGA flyers.

I have fine hairs above my top lip, I am not sure whether to have a top lip wax, but I might end up with a red rash, do I keep the moustache or opt for a sign saying ” I had my lip waxed, look here”

Not only am I looking to see if my stoma bag is showing through my clothes, what about all the rest of my baggage?