I don’t like to class myself as disabled because people look at me and might even question me, which in turn makes me feel that I shouldn’t have that blue badge, or the orthotic for my foot drop or that my fistulas are not visible so therefore I don’t look ill or have chronic health issues.
I look like I can function as any healthy person might, but I do have health problems that you can’t see.
I have had neurological problems for many years which include foot drop which shows itself on many an occasion and can cause my foot to miss steps or even miss nothing in particular. If I walk any real distance my foot starts to drop and drag, it is tiring and awkward.
I fall and trip often.
I do worry that one of these days I might do something more serious than cuts and bruises, I have been close to hitting my head a few times.
They say it might be MS as I have a lot of clinical aspects but they won’t commit yet. They treat me as if I have got MS but I haven’t had a clear diagnosis, it can take years before they decided for sure.
I have a diagnosis of Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension too, which means I have some mega headaches and awful pulsatile tinnitus because the fluid around my brain is more than it should be. I have had lumbar punctures to remove that pressure and all I can say is I am glad I don’t have it as severe as some. I was having a lumbar puncture for MS when they found my pressure to be high.
Then of course there are the fistulas that I have lived with alongside the stoma for nearly five years. I get pain and leakage and it generally makes me tired. I had a big chunk of muscle removed from my buttock and thigh which can have it’s own troubles.
I am not here to say look at me, feel sorry for me, my life is great even with my problems, I am happy and manage as best I can .I am here to ask everyone to accept others, and just because they look great, there may be hidden disabilities or health issues that you just cannot see. If someone gets out of a car with a blue badge, assume there is a hidden disability if it isn’t obvious. You don’t get given a blue badge without reason and it is not for anyone to judge if you need it or not, same for disabled toilets, and the worst culprits are usually other disabled people who’s disability or health issues are visible and don’t need to feel like they need to explain themselves.
I have actually never been approached by anyone but I can see the look. I know that some folk look at me and think I am just sneaking into the disabled toilets because I can’t be bothered to queue. If I don’t need to use them I won’t.
