Although I am not someone who had a stoma and then had children, my story is the other way around, but the reason I joined this lovely group was because I had IBD whilst being pregnant. I just thought it might help someone on there who was considering getting pregnant before surgery.
Ostomy and j-pouch moms is a fantastic group for anyone considering stoma or j-pouch surgery and having children. There is a lot of support on there with others who have experienced this, so are used to all the questions.
Tara started the group in Canada and here is her story….
I’m from Toronto, ON, Canada. I was initially diagnosed with UC at the age of 17. I gave my IBD the best fight I could, through prescribed medicine, natural medicine and diet. I eventually decided my best option for a life outside of the hospital and chronic illness was surgery to create an Ostomy. At the time of my decision, I was diagnosed with crohns and colitis. The pathology of my removed colon showed a definitive crohns diagnosis. Months later, I decided to make it permanent and had the Barbie butt surgery.
Life has been good with an Ostomy. For years I decided it was my personal business that I had an Ostomy. Only some friends and family knew about it. I worked, traveled, swam, danced and dated and married. I thought since I was doing so well, maybe I could help others that weren’t, so I went to an Ostomy Toronto meet up. It was at that first meeting that I met some amazing ostomates that became good friends. The more meeting and events I went to, I made more friends that had been through what I had been through. I never knew I needed them in my life. I also met a lot of amazing colonless peeps online. I decided to “come out of the bathroom”, and I made a public post about having an Ostomy. I started volunteering for Ostomy Toronto, I wrote regularly for the newsletter, spoke to nurses and became a proud advocate.
Years before my husband and I started trying to conceive, I was worried if it was even possible to become pregnant. I had a friend do a google search for me. She found an article that was short and basically said it was possible. Through Ostomy Canada Society, I also made friends with other Ostomy mothers and had them share their stories with me. I also spoke with a GI and some stoma nurses, who all confirmed it was possible. When my husband and I were ready to start a family, through a fertility doctor, we found out that I had scar tissue around my Fallopian tubes. Our doctor said our best chance of getting pregnant was IVF. Thankfully, the first try took. Our daughter is now 4.
When I was trying to get pregnant and when I became pregnant, there was no specific support group for women with ostomies. I asked around in various groups on Facebook. So many questions were left unanswered. At 8 weeks pregnant, I decided to start Ostomy and Jpouch Moms. I added all the women I had met that far, who were moms, ostomates and jpouchers.
HOW UTTERLY CUTE IS SHE?
It was so great to have these ladies at my fingertips. I also never thought it would grow as much as it did. I have also added 4 admins to help with adding members, deleting spam posts or overly negative(even bullying comments) and to help with posts that get members interaction. While some hurtful comments aren’t always caught or deleted, we do our best to keep it a positive place. It’s not a group where bully’s post rampantly. With all the negativity on the internet it’s just not tolerated in the group.
The group is close to 2,000 members. While it’s a large number, I can’t help but think, that there are way more women who need to know our group is here to support them. That it is possible to become pregnant with an Ostomy or Jpouch and it has happened for a lot of women who’s doctors have told them it isn’t possible. I started a page called Ostomy and Jpouch Moms Worldwide in hopes that members or even non members would write their inspiring stories, spread more awareness and who knows, maybe some from the medical field will find the page, read features and change how they look at our fertility. I’m always happy when someone wants to be a feature. I also recently started an Instagram account for further awareness.
While I have help from admins, our time is stretched between being Moms, work and sometimes our health. I’m so grateful to those who are willing to help in any way. If any advocates are reading this. Please share with your followers and feel free to contact me directly about spreading more awareness at tara.parkal@gmail.com or send me a message on Facebook.
Please click on the links below to get through to the pages.
OSTOMY AND J-POUCH MOMS WORLDWIDE
