Hitting the wall

This is a bit of a “woe is me “post, apologies in advance.

 

I have always been very confident about my stoma and scars but this last surgery has knocked me for six. I am feeling very body conscious and not just with stoma and scars, I am now finding fault with other body parts too and I think I haven’t got over how my body has changed. Having a stoma has made me feel well but because I feel well, I have gained quite a bit of weight which I hate and am still trying to to get fit by going to the gym. I feel better for it but am not seeing a difference which is disheartening.

My brace has now come off but I am now picking issues with scars and lumps and bumps. When I have tight trousers or leggings on I can see where the muscle was taken from my buttock and thigh with an indentation. I hadn’t realised the scar would be so long either and wasn’t really told. I also hate the way my abdomen scar really dints in like another belly button lower down. There isn’t anything I can do about either which is frustrating.

My stoma is causing issues again with leakage in the middle of the night due to the fistula, my skin is also reacting with the bag causing an itchy rash. I am scared to have the surgery to repair it and can’t afford the time off work.

All of this is just so damn tiring, I want my mojo back and am hoping that spring / summer will be a better time.

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2 Replies to “Hitting the wall”

  1. Oh no, I’m so sorry it’s been so tough and shitty (excuse the pun!) It’s easier said than done but try not to think too much on the weight/size side of things; feeling the want to eat is a huge positive, and fitness and nutrition ‘outweighs’ anything else. When my stoma was retracting last year it was a nightmare with leaks. Went back to the SensuraMio Convex and that helped a bit (barrier rings and flat bags just kept leaking constantly). Hang in there, there will be brighter days ahead. Please focus on YOU and resting and doing small simple things to feel a little better. Spring is just around the corner so hopefully summer will soon follow (Fingers crossed!!) Sending hugs,
    Caz xx

    1. Thank you Caz, I know things could be much worse and when the sun comes out I am sure I will feel better, I have already gone to a convex because of the same issues you said. It’s the fistula that causes my issues. X

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